What They Don't Teach You In College

In my second year teaching kindergarten, I have come to the realization that while I think my college was AMAZING and had a tremendous teaching program that really prepared me for teaching, there are a few funny tips that I was certainly would have loved to have received...

1. You had better become desensitized to vomit. In the last week, I have had three students throw up in my presence. Two of these occasions were as my class was lined up to leave the room, and thank goodness they didn't throw up on any other kids! The latest one was today at lunch. Let's just say that strawberry milk is probably not a good decision on the way down, and it definitely is not pretty on the way UP! My kids are very considerate about not making a mess though, the boy today only got it on his lunch tray. Poor kid :(

2. You had better become desensitized to anything to do with what happens in the bathroom. I have had to explain to my students that they have to close the door in the bathroom, flush the toilet, clean up any MESS they made while in the bathroom, and please not tell me that they have to "poop". I mean, TMI. I have also had to help students change after some pretty messy accidents, and button and unbutton about 50 blue jean buttons. I get exhausted just thinking about it all!

3. You can't take yourself too seriously. Kids say whatever is on their mind. Sometimes that is really sweet, like the frequent and random "I love you Mrs. Colwell", but sometimes it is not so warm and fuzzy. Like when a little kid compared the picture on my ID badge to my hair that day, and said "Why does your hair look so messy today, but not in the picture?" BURN! From a 5-year-old kid. Or when another student ask if I have kids, I say no, and they say, "Oh, you mean they are all grown up?" (FYI: I am 25 years old. Having grown children? Hilarious!)

4. Customer service experience is helpful. I feel like I spend hours extra a week just trying to prevent unhappy parents. I mean, I know that's an obvious goal, but you would be surprised at how easy and frequent parent complaints can be. Luckily (knock on wood) I have never had a complaint go above my head to the principal, but I honestly think it is because I spend so much energy trying to prevent issues from popping up. I e-mail parents on a weekly basis, send notes home any time a child has an accident, tired/cranky day, etc. I check up on students who have been absent more than one day. I post photos and blurbs about what the students are learning on my webpage weekly. Like the saying goes, "An ounce of prevention is worth a pound of cure." So future teachers, expect to spend lots of time pleasing the parents :)

Hopefully all this on-the-job learning will help me when I FINALLY have kids of my own. I mean, I should be completely desensitized to all vomit and bathroom issues by that time. And hopefully by then I will be in such a routine and have developed a good reputation with parents that I am no longer having to "prove myself" to each new class.

I just have to say that after the week I have had, I could not be more excited to be having a girls' night at the winery tomorrow evening, watch the prime-time Gators game Saturday night, and have an all-around great time!